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Here are just a few points on refusing requests in an assertive manner

Refusing requests

• Allow yourself time to think about the response
• Give your decision using ‘I’ (own your decision)
• State the reason for refusal
• Discuss possible alternatives
• Ensure you refuse only the request and not the person
• Do not misuse your authority by always saying ‘NO’ to requests just because you can

Here are just a few points on making requests in an assertive manner – remember we all have the right to ask for something we want and to receive a considered answer. Agreeing to the request is easy; refusing is often difficult as it could cause bad feeling which could impact on good relationships.

Making requests

• Think about what you are going to say and how you might say it
• Make the request directly to the person concerned
• Use phrases like ‘I would like’ ‘I need’ (own it)
• Be clear and specific about what it is you want
• Give reasons why you are making the request

Assertive Behavior

• Standing up for your own rights without violating another person’s rights
• It involves expressing your needs, wants, opinions, beliefs and feelings in a direct, honest and appropriate way
• The aim of assertive behavior is to communicate productively

Passive Behavior

• Failing to stand up for your rights or doing so in such a way that others can disregard them
• It involves expressing your needs, wants, opinions, beliefs and feelings in apologetic, tentative, self-effacing or even dishonest ways
• The aim of passive behavior is to avoid conflict and to please others

Aggressive Behavior

• Standing up for your own rights in such a way that you violate another person’s rights
• It involves expressing your needs, wants, opinions, beliefs and feelings in inappropriate ways and ignoring or dismissing those of other people
• The aim of aggressive behavior is to win, if necessary at the expense of others

Assertiveness is about communicating with other people in ways that achieve a productive outcome. It is about being aware of the rights you have as an employer or employee and as a member of the human race and knowing that the person we are communicating with also has these rights. This is not always easy particularly in awkward situations.

Some people are very aware of their rights and often you will hear them tell you in no uncertain terms that they know their rights.

We all have a multitude of rights but you very rarely hear people talking about the responsibilities that go hand in hand with these rights. For example: we all have the right to be wrong (at times) and the responsibility that goes with that is that we should learn from our mistakes and try to ensure we don’t keep making the same mistake time after time.

Shorten the length of interruptions

Control the time

Reducing the time of interruptions needs you to take control of the situation. Asking how long the person needs right at the start of the conversation will help them realize there is a time limit for unscheduled discussions. If they need longer than you can spare right now, get your diary out and make an appointment.

Summarize

Summarizing the main points helps the pace, shows the other person you understand the points and helps brings the conversation to a close. It may also help to keep the meeting brief if you can discourage the interrupter from sitting down.

Create free time

Open door times

Setting aside specific times during the day perhaps one hour in the morning and again in the afternoon when colleagues can take 5 or 10 minutes of your time. This lets people know that you are available during the day but that they need to think twice and justify an interruption ‘out of hours’.

Manage your e-mails

You can also help your time management by not having your inbox open on your computer all day. Constantly checking your e-mails can be a huge interruption to your thought process. If you have a set time in the morning then again in the afternoon to deal with your e-mails, it can less disruptive than dealing with them as they come in.

Phones

Make sure that you are not the first one in line of pick-up for telephone calls. If possible get others to field your calls and let them know when you are and are not available to take calls. This may mean they can have access to your diary or schedule to know when you are around and or available.

Remember…

It is the role of the leader of the company to spend about 80% of their time working on growing and improving the business and only 20% of their time working in the business, physically doing a job. Many business owners find that split very uncomfortable but if you are not working on growing your business and your competitors are – you will get left behind.

Hints for handling interruptions to your day:

Reduce the number of interruptions

Log interruptions

It could be a useful exercise to log all the interruptions you get over a few days to identify the variety of reasons you are interrupted.

Note who, when and why and how long they take out of your day. A pattern may emerge and provide you with some tactics for improving the amount of free time you can create.

“Don’t do everyone else’s thinking for them. Their brains will shrivel - and yours may explode”

Delegate and train

If your daily pattern shows a number of interruptions for technical advice perhaps a short training session would help the situation, look at how you delegate to others, or if you don’t. Letting people know where, other than you, they could find the information they need.

Make sure that you are not the only person that holds information.

Reviewing the plan

Good business plans are not just written once, they are re-written many times and constantly reviewed and reappraised.

Keep it flexible

Checking where you are now in relation to where you want to be is crucial for everyone. Without that specific feedback we don’t know what we should be doing next to get us to our destination.

Communicating the plan

How much do you tell your staff? There may be details in the plan that you would not want to be common knowledge but anything that affects your staff and the way they work should be made available for comment and discussion as to how this could happen.

Team meetings

Hold team meetings to communicate the plan. Discuss what it means specifically for that team and individuals. Involve everyone, welcome ideas on how the objectives might be achieved and treat all ideas with respect.

Milestones to achievement

It may be that a 3 or 5 year plan is your best way forward. Decide upon milestones within the plan, break the time-scale into manageable chunks and review them regularly and make the necessary changes to ensure you are on track.

Desired outcomes

Your plan should include your desired outcomes. For example, if you know what you want your customer feedback to be, decide what needs to happen to ensure it is achieved?

Skills required

As the plan evolves, training needs become apparent. These then form the company’s training plan for departments, teams and individuals.

Cascading objectives

In any organization the objectives in the business plan should be cascaded downwards through the various levels so that they are embraced by every employee. This will contribute to creating a development plan for every member of staff. So from the business plan each director or member of the senior management team will have specific objectives for their area of the business. They in turn will meet with and discuss objectives with their managers who report to them – who will meet and discuss with their direct reportees and so it continues through the whole company.

Dreams come true when desire transforms them into action

Plan…what plan?

What is the first thing any business advisor or coach would ask you? Probably, ‘Do you have a plan?’ They need to know what dreams you have for the growth and future of your company before they can see where they might be able to offer help

Putting the plan together

Sometimes it is difficult to articulate the dreams you have either for your business or your personal life and even more difficult to lay them out in a plan for all to see. Remember that the longer you work in the right direction the nearer you are to success. So people in your business need to know what success looks like for the business, for their team and for themselves as individuals.

Record your thoughts

Once you have a very clear idea of the purpose and vision for your business and what is the right direction for you and your staff, you will want to record your specific aims and objectives for the business and produce a business plan. Not only a monthly plan of financial targets, but also a broader picture of what should be happening in every area of the business, from sales and marketing to accounts and new products and services to skilled staff.

Get ready to seize opportunities

Whether you are a new business just starting up or a very well established business, it is a good discipline to take the time to record your thoughts and goals for the long term and possible stages to achieve these aims. This will enable everyone to recognize and seize opportunities as they arise but they will only be able to do that if you have effectively communicated the plan to them.