Better Business Coaching

Building Effective Business Relationships

As a  Business and Personal Development Coach, I consider Time to be the most valuable commodity man has at his disposal. You can bank money, but you can’t bank time! So my communication style is by getting directly to the point, to save time. Some see it as refreshing, as they may be surrounded by ‘yes’ people and others find it a challenge to begin with, as they are not so used to someone being so direct with them.

As a Coach, I reflect back what I hear and see. I am considered to be a compassionate and considerate person by all that know me well, therefore, my honest and immediate communication is considered my strongest asset and will become yours too, if that is what you wish to accomplish.

Time is Money

Our business time is valuable and your work/life balance in today’s society is becoming more and more compromised. Stress is a killer, so we must all learn how to manage ourselves and our time, in order to overcome the biggest threat to business’.

Sickness levels are on the increase due to stress. Business’ are losing thousands of pounds productivity every second due to time off sick, or the so called ‘Duvet Days’! To use a metaphor to explain the impact of stress on our emotional and physical wellbeing; compare yourself with a bottle of fizzy drink, the pressures of balancing our work and personal life is like shaking ourselves consistently and we all know what happens when you shake a bottle of fizzy drink consistently!

The Art of Effective Communication

I would not wish to waste my time or any others, by ‘dilly dallying’ around any important communication deficiency I detect. Time management teaches us to prioritise and that includes our communication, as it is the key to any successful relationship. So now I have introduced my style to you business people out there, let us get straight to the point: Here are some questions for you to reflect on…

How do you communicate to others in order for you build and sustain effective relationships?

Do you communicate with immediacy?

Do you use negative words or positive words when communicating?

Self Reflection raises Self Awareness

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napoleon Hill

Perhaps, until now, you may have never reflected upon your style of communication. As you are aware, effective communication is the key to any relationship, be it in business or personal relationships.

Communication is a style that you have role modelled from your significant others in your early years – however, anything can be developed if that is your desire. We may all wear business hats when at work, however, our style of relating to others has become a habit, therefore, if you have a dysfunctional way of relating to your family at home, you may just be creating a dysfunctional family at work.

Contrary to popular belief, there are many i’s in a team.  Every member of the team is an individual working toward a common goal, however, we are all still individuals with our own unique communication styles to integrate successfully or not into team work.

“Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.” – Virginia Satir

You may have heard people mention their Dr’s bedside manners, or lack of them; well this is a prime example of how the way we relate and respond to others, affects our customer and working relationships. It is time to take note of how you respond to others, in order to build and sustain excellent and effective business relationships.

The Solution to Better Communication

Listening skills are something that we all, at one time or another, need to improve upon.

How often do you feel listened too?
How often do you actively listen to others without interruption?
Are you able to put yourself in the shoes of the person who is communicating to you?

Do you constantly interrupt people when they speak to you?

Take notice of how people respond to you when you communicate with them to help you improve your techniques. If your bold enough, ask them how your communication makes them feel!

“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” – Peter T. McIntyre

Active Listening Skills Exercise

Allow someone to speak to you without you saying a word. Simply listen to them without judgement, for as long as it takes for them to speak and then reflect back to them all that you have heard and understood to seek clarification that you heard and interpreted correctly. I have asked clients to undergo this exercise many times and the feedback from the individuals were:-
1) How difficult people found it speaking without interruption, as they are just not used to it.
2) How difficult people found it not to interrupt the speaker, as they are not used to just listening.
3) How empowered and relieved they felt, after having the ability to speak and then clarify in order to feel understood.

The Freedom of Speech

The freedom to express ourselves is something we are given as a human right and the right to be heard is also a profound development tool.  Front line to CEO, we all need to be heard and understood; it is not only essential for a successful business, it is also essential for our physical and emotional wellbeing, as we have evolved into ‘word’ communicators.

“Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

We have evolved so that we no longer need to beat our chests or grunt!  We need to communicate in order to feel heard and understood. More importantly, everything is subjective and open to interpretation, which is why reflecting back what we heard is important for clarification, especially when dealing with customers requirements and enquiries.

As a Coach, it is my duty to empower people. Empowering others to empower themselves and others, is my skill and I consider this to be a skill I wish to help others to develop and pass on. Communication is empowering and as we are the only species that use words to communicate and express ourselves, I believe we need to select our words with care, in order to build and sustain effective business and personal relationships.

Mirroring

NLP teaches us to mirror the other in order to build rapport. Mirroring others is an essential tool; however, we need to be aware that some of our clients or colleagues verbal and non verbal communication styles can not be mirrored, otherwise we are just colluding with ineffective communication styles.

Sometimes, we have to be more empathically direct and honest, in order to help others create better communication styles in order to help others feel understood and also to improve business and customer relations.

The customers pay your salary!

Solutions – Positive Communication

Reflect on your communication style…accept it may need improvement – then take action.

Use positive words and metaphors.

Smile often.

Hold your head up when solution seeking and communicating.

When you wake every morning think immediately of 10 things to be thankful for.

Think of the people who love you and have an attitude of gratitude for all that you already have.

Coaching Summary

Ask someone you trust for honest feedback on your communication style, both verbal and non-verbal – constructive feedback is always good!  It may even be time to get a Coach!

Positive words and metaphors along with smiling, will automatically change your style of communicating with others.

Positive thinking and solution focus will transform your communication.  Be thankful for and put a positive spin on any experience – ask yourself – What have you learn’t and how can you develop from this experience?

Spend only 10% of your time on a problem and 90% of your time on the solution to that problem. Most importantly,  laugh at yourself at any given opportunity and have as much fun as you can, whilst developing yourself and your business’!

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan